do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
