I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
