to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
