wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize