just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
You took a bar mat shot.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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