i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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