There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
