Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
