There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
