Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
time to smoke my breakfast
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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