I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
