Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Randomize
