i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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