So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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