"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
