So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
