hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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