I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
