I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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