I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
