smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
