so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
