it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize