Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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