checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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