Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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