so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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