I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize