This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Success! We fucked roommates!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
