He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
