you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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