Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
