You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize