Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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