note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize