My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
