just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
