no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
