the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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