i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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