hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
