he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
There's always time for handjobs
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
