She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
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