I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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