we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
