Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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