o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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