I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
