Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
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there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
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After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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