they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
