Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize