He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
