no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
